Disclaimer: The goal of Conquer with Na’Kole is to provide education and support for moms (and concerned loved ones) as they conquer the giants that seek to conquer their children. I, Na’Kole Watson, am not a licensed mental health professional nor am I offering professional mental health services or advice. Therefore, I accept no liability or responsibility to anyone as a result of any reliance upon the information produced on this site or in any communication issued by Na’Kole Watson and Conquer with Na’Kole. The views expressed on this and any other affiliated website are my own, and all sources are linked. If you are in crisis, please contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. If this is an emergency, please dial 911 immediately.
I know you’re not feeling the greatest, so I’m just gonna get right into it.
Real quick, I’m going to give you seven reasons to live. You ready? Let’s go.
01 – You’re here for a reason.
I know that sounds cliche. It sounds like “Oh yeah, whatever. Everybody’s here for a reason…” but I’m so serious. You are here for a specific and intentional and purposeful reason. As a matter of fact, there is a one in 400 quadrillion chance times the number of every single one of your ancestors that you would even be born, so even the science says that you’re not here by mistake.
You are not a mistake. You’re not here by coincidence. You’re not here by happenstance. You’re not just randomly here. You’re here for a reason. Now, I can’t tell you what their reason is, but I can guarantee you that there is one and the purpose of your life is for you to find it. Once you find it, your one job is to live it out.
02 – No one can leave your footprint on this earth but you.
No one can do what you’re here to do. No one can add to this collective group of people what you’re here to add. Not a single human being on earth. It doesn’t matter if they look like you, talk like you, have the same upbringing as you, went through the same stuff as you, have the same talents as you. It doesn’t matter. Nobody can make your mark here but you.
03 – NONE of what you’re FEELING is YOU.
Your emotions, your sadness, your anger. That’s not you. That’s not the core of who you are. At the core of who you are, you are an amazing, brilliant, wonderful masterpiece.
The outside influences and people putting labels on you and telling you that you’re not good enough and you can’t do this or that because you didn’t have a father… Those people telling you that because you grew up in a particular city you’ll never be anything… that’s not you.
You are bigger, better and greater than any label anybody could ever put on you. You are bigger than any box anybody could ever put you in. None of that stuff is you.
04 – It’s not about anyone else.
It’s not about how they feel. It’s not about what they think you should do. It’s not about their emotions and opinions about your life. This thing right here that we’re dealing with right now is about you. It’s about getting you to the place that you should be in. Getting you to where you should be emotionally. Getting you where you should be in every single aspect of your life. It’s not about everybody else.
You’re you. You’re going to ALWAYS be you. You’re going to always be with you in this life and whatever is to come after this life. You wake up as you with you. You go throughout your day as you with you. You go to bed at night as you with you and you do it over and over again. It’s not about anybody else. It’s about you. It’s about getting you better. It’s about feeling good about who you are. Slowly but surely.
05 – If you can experience it, you can overcome it.
If something is showing up in your life, your ability to see it, your ability to put your eyes on it, your ability to feel it, your ability to think about it lets me know that you have the ability to overcome it. You have the power to get over whatever it is. Whatever shows up in your life, you’re more than able to overcome whatever it is.
If you see a mountain, you can climb it. If you see a hurdle, you can jump over it. That’s just how that goes. Otherwise, you would never see it. You never see problems that you don’t have the ability to either solve or contribute to the solution thereof. Always remember that.
06 – You are undergoing one of the greatest transformations your life has ever seen.
Get a caterpillar in your mind. He starts out crawling on the ground and he’s good with that.
He’s chilling. He’s fine.
And then, all of a sudden one day, he goes through this process and he climbs up a wall and he spins himself into a cocoon. He uses his energy and he gets himself into this place where it’s dark and he’s surrounded by a situation that he created… that’s dark… that’s closed in… where he can’t see the other caterpillars. This tells me that even if you’re suicidal right now because of a situation you created, something amazing can still come out of it. It doesn’t have to end you.
Back to the caterpillar.
He can’t see the light of day. He doesn’t know what’s going on in the outside world. He is completely surrounded by what he got himself into, but it is while he is there, while he’s in that dark place, while he’s in that closed in place that he becomes something completely different. But even though he is now different, he never loses the essence of who he is. Because the essence of who is he is has always been and will always be powerful and worthy to be experienced.
And then, one day out of nowhere, the cocoon pops open, and out comes this butterfly. The butterfly, though he still has the essence of who he is (because you’ll never change the core of who you are), is now even more beautiful. He can go even more places. He can do even more things. He has more ability than he’s ever had.
To the people who only remember the butterfly as a caterpillar, the butterfly is now unrecognizable… but on the inside, the butterfly knows exactly who he is and exactly what he had to go through to get to where he is now.
And number seven…
07 – If you bow out right now, if you quit right now, if you give up right now, you will never know the other side of your pain.
You’ll never be able to see the beauty of what you had to go through. You’ll never understand how all of what you endured (though unfortunate or unfair oftentimes) gave you the strength to become the amazing butterfly you’re becoming. No, you should not have had to go through it. Trauma is not a necessary ingredient in the recipe of strength. Abuse is not an ingredient. Depression is not an ingredient.
But, despite all of that, you are still here. And everything that has happened to you has made you stronger because you were already awesome enough to stand through it all.
08 – Not only will you never see what your pain was for, but every single person you’re supposed to touch will never be touched by you.
All of the people who were supposed to see and hear and read about a person who went through exactly what they went through and overcame it… They’ll never be able to see it. They’ll never be able to hear it. They’ll never be able to see you stand and tell them that they can make it. They’ll never be able to hear your words saying, “I used to be just like you, but I withstood it. I overcame, I got through it. I learned how to maintain.”
That’s it. I believe in you. I have talked hundreds of people out of suicide and I hope this letter did the same for you. I’m not just speaking from a solutionist’s perspective. I have survived multiple suicide attempts myself. And had I not endured, I would not be here to write to you today.
That’s how I know that what I’m saying is true. And that’s why I want you to keep going.
If you need additional assistance, I encourage you to contact The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8275. You can also chat with them here.
If you would prefer to text, please reach out to The Crisis Text Line by texting HELLO to 741741.
But I just want you to know that day in and day out, I’m fighting for you and I hope that you’ll fight with me.
Let’s Conquer Together!!!